What makes a blogger, a blogger?

I am enjoying doing chatty posts so much more recently. It feels refreshing and old school to just kick back and word vomit onto a document. It feels nice to talk about whatever I want to talk about, but one thing I often think to myself is, am I a "proper" blogger?

I started my blog in 2015 as I loved writing and at that time wanted to be a journalist. I had dabbled in the world of online communication but I had never stuck to anything. When I found this outlet, something rang right and I have been rambling away ever since. It was a passion project, and still is. I have always just been me. No fancy posts, no fanciness at all. I kinda accepted that I couldn't be your "perfect" blogger at first and hoped that one day I'd adapt and learn the tricks of the trade. That I would become like those bloggers I aspired to be. But years have past and I'm finally comfortable with saying, I'm a blogger, but not your typical one.

I've never taken a photo of me in front of a white London townhouse with black gates and uploaded it to my blog. If I ever do shoots, it's in my garden or a field near my house or just wherever I happen to be. It's with my friends, and it's fun. I don't post every single day, I don't do this full time. I am lucky enough however to have been recognized by some lovely brands and companies and have been sent PR, which I am extremely thankful for, so the fact I'm on a blogger mailing list, must mean I'm a proper blogger right?

My instagram isn't perfect. It's just pictures of my life. They don't particularly match, they are more personal and candid which I like.I tell myself over and over that this is fine. But I am still constantly comparing myself to other bloggers and other influencers. Will I ever accept that I am a blogger, and a good one at that?

I cringe at calling myself a "good" blogger. I hate saying anything where people might mistake it as me "bigging myself up" but I do think it's important to highlight your successes and feel proud of what you do and what you have achieved. I think I write *good* posts and create *good* content, I have built up a *good* amount of views and started to produce *good* videos for my YouTube channel.

Something that confuses me and makes me question my role as blogger quite often is Twitter. I see bloggers on Twitter with thousands of followers and 50+ replies to every tweet who then tweet saying that they have hit 1000 views on their blog, which is amazing. But, this throws me off, as I have over 85,000 views on my blog, but less engagement and less of a following on Twitter. I often worry that I am not recognized as part of the blogging community, and that I'm kind of riding solo...

Am I being too honest? I am not in anyway bashing anyone, I am just trying to explain that when you're a fish swimming in a rather large pond, it's hard to determined how successful you actually are. I said in a post a while back that I judge success by happiness and I stand by that, I am happy with my blog and where it's at, meaning I do feel success in that way.

I think celebrating every blogger and all of their achievements is so important. But I often feel as if I don't quite fit in, which is ridiculous, because the point of blogging is that everyone can do it. I just don't know where I stand with it always, and that makes me feel kinda sad! It's different for YouTube, I definitely have a community on there. Often on my blog, I feel like I am talking to no-one, like I am shouting into a black hole, because even though I get the views, I don't always get loads of comments etc. On YouTube, people comment on my videos and we chat, I always feel like I am talking to people. Like I have an audience, I can picture them in my head when I'm filming. When I'm writing, I don't know who is reading. It really does just feel like I am talking into an empty void.

No shade, I know your there, yes you, reading this. Make yourself known! Let me know that you are reading! I would really appreciate it! There's nothing more I love than replying to comments on my YouTube and occasionally my blog, so introduce yourself! Even if you don't feel comfortable doing that, or like to remain an anonymous, silent viewer, that's fine! If you want to reach out, you can contact me on any social medias, or drop me an email on my non business email - tamzinlena@gmail.com.

I feel like this would be a good place to leave this post. I hope you enjoyed it somewhat and maybe if you're a blogger too, you found it relatable or could understand where I am coming from.

Bye for now,
Tamzin xxx


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