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A day I will never forget

There has been a lot of defining moments in my life. To be brutally honest, a lot of those moments I would have rather not happened. But they have played a huge part in who I am today, and I strongly believe that despite how hard they may have been, everything does happen for a reason.

I've been through some shit. 99% of that shit I do not and will not ever (well, we'll see) post online, as it is private and too difficult to share so openly. I felt like this about what I am going to talk about today for a good portion of time, only partially opening up about what happened last year, in a spontaneous instagram post that you can see here.

8 years ago on February 25th (which is today, because I have spent way too long writing this post), I was involved in a car accident that almost took my life.

I feel shaky and tingly and sad writing that.

I was 10 years old.

In a strange sort of way, I feel silly saying "I almost died". It's like when you get one mark off the top grade in school and you say, I almost got an A. It was a B, so be proud of that. That's how I feel about this day. I almost died. But I didn't. I lived. And I have to focus on that.

I can talk pretty candidly about a lot of hard things in my life, to my friends or family. However, whenever I try to talk about this, or write about it in this case, I get choked up. It's strange. I only really realise how much that day actually affected me when I think about it for long enough. I guess that is because I have trained my brain to block it out for the most part.

I woke up that morning, and it started 'like any other day'. But it's true, it was a normal day in the February half term (a week long school break). I was in my last year of primary school at the time, and it was the Friday, meaning I should have returned to school on the following Monday. I was heading for a day out with a friend of my mum's and her granddaughter, as well as my mum's friends mum. My mum wasn't coming, she had a hair appointment that day.

My mum's friend lived on the next street, so I walked round to her house to set off. (I just want to say at this point, I am finding it really hard to write this, I am having to do it in parts to prevent the tears falling!)

We got in the car and headed to pick up someone else who was meant to be coming with us, but we never made it to his house. I don't remember a lot of the journey, but I will share a bit of what I do and then what I have been told. The last thing I for sure remember prior to the crash was being handed a packet of crisps. Of course, I remember food. They were a pack of cheese and onion squares, and I remember saving them to have later on in the journey. I never ate them. Kinda still sad about that. The next thing I know, I was waking up after being knocked unconscious on impact. I was then handed a cloth, to apply pressure with to my face. Not crisps this time, a cloth. The cloth was white and once I took it away from my face after holding it there for a few seconds, it was red. (With blood. In case you didn't get that).

That is the one single thing I actually remember.

To fill in the gaps, I'll now tell you what actually happened. (This is what I have been told/made aware of etc) Warning - this may be triggering. It definitely is for me writing it...

We were driving down a road (obviously) and a car pulled out a junction without stopping, and thus crashed straight into my side. I was back left so I received quite a lot of the impact. The impact threw me forward and my head hit the seat in-front. My glasses smashed because of this and the glass cut into several parts of my face, thus the bleeding, damage and now subsequent scarring. I also suffered other injuries as you can imagine, such as whiplash, pain to my legs and a sprained wrist, to name a few. The car was a 3 door car meaning I had no immediate way to escape, plus the fact I was unconscious the whole time anyway. I first went unconscious on impact as mentioned, and then drifted in and out of consciousness until I got to hospital. When the paramedics did arrive, it took them a while to get me out from the back. I don't know how long. The lady in the passenger seat in front (so directly in front of me) was elderly, and she had shattered both of her ankle bones, so they struggled to move her and thus get to me. I was trapped, and that is where my fear of tight spaces and claustrophobia comes from. My legs were hurt as I said, and because I was trapped, this didn't help. I remember the girl next me was awake and screaming the whole time. Turns out, she ripped her bowel because of the seatbelt. In my case, the seatbelt protected me. In her case, it actually caused a lot of injury. Of course, it also protected her too. We think it did that because the impact was so intense, and twice over (the car actually hit us twice after we span) and she wasn't wearing a coat (an extra layer) where I was. She had taken her coat off just before. Scary how things work eh. I am no longer in touch with anyone else from the accident, so I can't comment on how they are now, but to my knowledge, they all made a full recovery. - Physical at least.

I remember bits from when I arrived at hospital. My face being stitched up and the yucky hospital food I can recall. I remember some family members coming to visit. I remember hating the attention. I cringe at it. Is that weird to say? I still do hate that sort of attention. Like being in hospital and people being worried or sad for you. I just hate feeling like I am making others upset and I can't do anything about it. I had to stay overnight. I was actually meant to stay longer but my mum and I managed to persuade the doctors to let me go home. I just didn't like it, I guess no one does. I got home to my brother who was sat on the sofa with a blanket and his laptop for me and him to watch my favourite TV show that I missed because I was in the hospital. I actually started crying typing that. I love my brother very much.

I guess I am not really sure what else to include. That was what happened. I mean, it doesn't just stop there. The endless appointments afterwards, dealing with the mental and physical scars.. It is still ongoing, in every sense of the word. For a long while afterwards I wouldn't travel is cars with anyone other than my mum, I guess it was because I made the connection that when my mum wasn't there, something bad happened. I can't imagine what it was like for her, getting that phone call to say that your child had been in a serious accident. I remember my school was phoned too, to let them know, and when I went back after about a week they told me that two of the teachers started crying hysterically at the thought that I was almost killed. I don't want to know my mum's side of it. That may be selfish but I couldn't bear to hear what it was like. I suffered short term memory loss during and after the accident, and it is believed that my memory has been damaged in the long run. See, I have an excuse for being so forgetful!

I remember being told that if I hadn't worn my seatbelt, I would have died. That is what the doctor said to me.

So if you take one thing away from this. Please, always wear your seatbelt. Please. Also please don't speed, please look both ways at junctions and please be cautious and aware of other people on the road. You may not care about yourself. You may be wreck-less. You may think it is a bit of fun. But you are risking the lives of others.

I am a writer. I write about everything. Even if I don't post what I write about online, I write. In notebooks and in letters. It has taken me 8 years to write one thing about this. I am proud of that.

I think it is time to leave this here. There is more I could say but also there isn't. I would just ramble about how much my life has changed, how my anxiety spiralled, how much it affected me psychologically. It is already triggering enough for me, and maybe you. I don't want to shove unnecessary stuff down anyone's throat. I think you get the general gist from this extract.

Bye for now,
Tamzin xxx

Pretty Little Treats

This post includes gifted products.

We could all do with a treat now and then, am I right?!

What better way to pick yourself up than with The Pretty Little Treat Company?

Based in Yorkshire (love local business!), The Pretty Little Treat Company sell handcrafted, vintage inspired bath and body products which are SLS and Parabens free. The packaging of their products are beautiful and covered with intricate details, such as bows and stunning imagery.

They very kindly sent me some of their gorgeous items to try out, including their lip balm, hand cream and a body polish which I am most excited about. I love me a good pamper, and these items definitely make for one. They smell unreal. The polish smells kinda floral and lovely, whilst the hand cream smells sweet and feels so soothing. The lip balm however. OMG. It smells exactly like palma violets, I want to actually eat it. (Which I won't, don't worry, it just smells THAT good.)

If you want to get your hands on these amazing cruelty free products, you can use my discount code (not affiliate or anything) which is TZ15, to save a little dollar. These products are wonderfully affordable anyhow, but a discount code is always a winner. You can also check them out on social to hear more, their instagram is @prettylittletreatco.

The majority of their packaging is also eco-friendly, which I love. I am finding ways to be more sustainable and learning this about their products was an added bonus! They choose to use glass, aluminium and card which are fully recyclable and sustainably sourced.

I hope you enjoyed this snippet into what Pretty Little Treats Co is all about, I loved trying these out and I can only say good things about the items and the brand as a whole. From what I've tried so far, I love each item and can't wait to continue to use them.

Bye for now,
Tamzin xxx


A Vegan Valentine's | Luxury & handmade plant based chocolate

With Valentine's Day looming, what better time to treat yourself, or your partner, to some delicious chocolate? I know I wouldn't mind receiving some, and I definitely wouldn't be opposed to buying some myself...

Why don't you celebrate Valentine’s Day with one of Spain’s leading luxury chocolate brands, Cachao? The brand produces a range of handmade plant-based chocolate that’s the perfect romantic gift for those looking to impress the discerning chocoholic in their life. This organic bean-to-bar chocolate is now available in the UK in time for Valentine's Day. 

Exquisitely packaged in a gold box and tied together with a beautiful ribbon, the decadent chocolate gifts come in a variety of unique editions including Lavender & Apricot, Rosemary & Walnut and 100% Cacao, which are guaranteed to please a special someone this Valentine’s Day.

The Valentine’s Day Range

Cachao Chocolate Squares (40g)this pocket-sized box of Cachao’s signature Chocolate Squares are the perfect way to ‘wow’ a loved one.

Cachao Chocolate Squares (150g)this larger box of delicately thin, melt in the mouth Chocolate Squares are ideal for those wanting to pamper that special person this Valentine’s Day. 

Cachao Chocolate Bars (60g): for a decadent treat with a luxuriously smooth and silky texture, this raw chocolate bar is a truly romantic gift.

Cachao’s Valentine’s Chocolate Bars and Squares are available in three distinct editions:

·         100% Cacao
Power-packed, raw cacao and nothing else, this 100% cacao offering is smooth and silky in texture with a complex earthy and smoky flavour.
·         Apricot & Lavender
Made with 71% pure chocolate, this refreshing blend of floral lavender and juicy ripe apricot provides a unique and vibrant flavour combination.
·         Rosemary & Walnut
This aromatic combination of earthy rosemary and creamy walnut marries perfectly with the decadent 71% pure chocolate base. 

Cachao’s bean-to-bar recipes deliver the highest quality and most luxurious chocolate possible. It is produced using the finest ingredients from both local suppliers in the Balearic Islands and Mainland Spain and the highest-quality, sustainably-sourced cacao from Indonesia and South America. The brand has a huge celebrity following on the continent, with many choosing it for intimate gatherings and parties. Raw cacao beans are carefully harvested, peeled and fermented before being stone ground on-site at the Cachao premises. Here, they undergo a complex four day production process where the resulting chocolate is heated (always under 42 degrees) and cooled at certain temperatures for specific time intervals to deliver the perfect balance of textures and taste.

Each of the brand’s mouth-watering chocolates are free from gluten, soya, dairy, refined sugar and are low GI. They are rich in flavour and packed full of natural nutrients such as magnesium, iron and chromium, all of which can have a positive effect on blood pressure, bone composition and brain and heart function.

The brand sources its cacao beans, coconut blossom sugar and cacao butter from Big Tree Farms, an ecologically sustainable farming initiative in Bali that works directly with individual community farmers across the country.

Cachao’s packaging comes from recycled materials and is designed, sourced and printed locally in Mallorca. All ingredients are organic, ecologically farmed, fairly traded and sourced locally, wherever possible. Those ingredients which grow only in the tropics (ex. cacao, coffee) have been carefully sourced from farms with a deep commitment to sustainability and a strong sense of responsibility to local workers.

The brand’s bespoke recipes were meticulously developed over two years by the brand’s head chocolatier, Tino Wolter. Wolter is a renowned chef in Europe, where he has established himself across the Michelin Star community.

Cachao has a luxuriously smooth texture, sublime flavour profile and the exceptional ingredients and bespoke production process retains the goodness of chocolate in its purest form, making it a natural aphrodisiac that delivers a hit of naturally-occurring caffeine and theobromine that has an energizing effect on the whole body.

The Cachao range is available online via: with an RRP of £5.50 for 40g Chocolate Squares, £18.00 for 150g Chocolate Squares, £7.00 for a 60g Chocolate Bar and £12.00 for a 120g jar of Chocolate Covered Cacao Beans or Chocolate Covered Espresso Beans.

Be sure to follow Cachao on Facebook and Instagram

Bye for now,
Tamzin xxx

This post is not sponsored but I have been gifted some of the chocolate. 
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