Showing posts from August, 2020

Happy Birthday, Blog

Last Saturday, August 15th, my blog, this blog, turned 5 years old. I started this website on Saturday, August 15th 2015. And what a wild 5 years it has been. So much has happened, and I have documented it all here. Well, most of it. You've seen so much, from my thoughts on some lipsticks to intimate confessions. This blog has been my outlet for so long, my escape. It has been my therapy, my place to turn when I feel like I have nowhere to go. It has taught me so much, not just about the internet, but about myself. I am so proud of my journey and I can't wait to keep sharing it with you.  Thanks to this blog I have bagged amazing work opportunities, started a YouTube channel, met lifelong friends, gained confidence, and so much more. It has really become such a big part of who I am and it's responsible for all of that, plus a lot of things up here - mentally. It was my distraction when I was being bullied in school, a place to muse whenever I'm under stress (which if yo

Anxiety be rid

*Warning. Incoming, word dump. Word dump? You know, like a brain dump. Ahead there's a lot of words, many of which I am not sure make much sense, but I am hoping you'll get the general idea.* I don’t think there will ever be a time in my life where I am completely, utterly, anxiety free. In my head, unfortunately, there is always something to be anxious about. As a matter of fact, a fact I have mentioned previously on this blog, my anxiety actually gets worse when I am happier. When my depression is worse, I have more of a.. “who gives a fuck?” attitude, I won’t or don’t care when things go wrong, where as when I’m happier, well, there’s more to lose.  I’d love to be anxiety free one day. I’d love to be able to say, anxiety be rid! Be gone! and it actually disappear. To live a life where I am not constantly battling overwhelming, all-consuming, traumatising negative thoughts, would be bliss. I can’t even fathom what that would actually be like. I actually can’t believe it when

Thoughts from the air #2

At lot has happened in 2020. For everyone. Not to brag, but COVID-19 has been the least of my worries for the most of it. This year has seen me struggle in ways that I didn’t know were possible. Crippling anxiety, debilitating depression, taken to the extreme. I started 2020 with high hopes, which by the end of January were shattered. I hoped my 20th trip around the sun would be my best one yet, but the universe had other plans. This isn’t a pity party - this is me, being real and honest and reflecting on how trauma can throw your life off course completely. There was so much I wanted to accomplish this year, and thanks to my mental health - and partly COVID-19 too, a lot of them have had to take a back seat. You may remember that last year, I wrote a post all about what I wanted to do before I turned 20. All the things I wanted to do before I left my teen years. Many of which I didn’t complete due to my mental health. One of my main goals, which has been on my bucket list for a few ye