Thoughts from the air #2

At lot has happened in 2020. For everyone. Not to brag, but COVID-19 has been the least of my worries for the most of it. This year has seen me struggle in ways that I didn’t know were possible. Crippling anxiety, debilitating depression, taken to the extreme. I started 2020 with high hopes, which by the end of January were shattered. I hoped my 20th trip around the sun would be my best one yet, but the universe had other plans.

This isn’t a pity party - this is me, being real and honest and reflecting on how trauma can throw your life off course completely. There was so much I wanted to accomplish this year, and thanks to my mental health - and partly COVID-19 too, a lot of them have had to take a back seat. You may remember that last year, I wrote a post all about what I wanted to do before I turned 20. All the things I wanted to do before I left my teen years. Many of which I didn’t complete due to my mental health. One of my main goals, which has been on my bucket list for a few years now, was to take a solo trip. A trip completely alone. I’ve flown alone several times now but I’ve never stayed somewhere for an extended amount of time, just me. On my list, which you can read
here, I said it could be U.K. or otherwise. Well, I’m currently on a flight to Bordeaux in France, finally ticking it off my 20 before 20 list, albeit it 3 months late. 

I’m doing it. I am going on an adventure! With me, myself & I. I can’t tell you how liberating it feels. I’m rather spontaneous - so a last minute getaway wasn’t too crazy to me, more just the fact the only person I’m sharing this experience with is you, reader. I’m here telling you my innermost thoughts as I’m high in the sky, watching the people and buildings and cars and roads below fade to nothing as the plane ascends into a sea of clouds...

I’m off on a city break of a lifetime - well, that’s what I hope it will be. I didn’t know much about Bordeaux before I booked this trip. All I’d heard about was wine, and fine dines! I’ve been dreaming of escaping to a little French city, exploring the streets on my own watch and eating one too many croissants in the morning. (And maybe drinking one too many glasses of red in the evening. Which I doubt, considering I don’t like red wine... I’m forcing myself to try it on this trip though, I feel like it’s necessary!)

I’m going for 5 days and I feel like that will be the perfect amount of time to get lost in a whirlwind of brie & crusty bread. I’m planning to fill my time with reading, relaxing and taking photos of pretty buildings. I’ve learnt to appreciate the little things as of recent - and when those little things are edible... and in the shape of macaroons, we know that things are looking up. 

To all the people reading this, my lovely readers, this is your sign. Do something for you. Get on a flight (if you feel safe to!) and don’t wait for anyone. We all waste too much time worrying about whether we should go to that restaurant alone or whether we should just simply enjoy our company. It’s so important that we do learn to like being alone, as in this life, we spend a lot of time with just ourselves. 

Life begins outside of your comfort zone. 

3 years ago, I couldn’t get a train by myself. Now look at me.

Bye for now,

Tamzin xxx


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