Over the past few years, I have become such an advocate of fate. The idea that life you know is so fragile, because if you'd done one little thing differently, everything could be, oh so different. Yet, recently, my thoughts and feels on this have started to change.
I began to consider how that fragility effects my mental health, and thus the actions performed by me. I began to question how the idea of fate makes me stressed, as I overthink every decision I make anyway. Thinking that something is such "fate" often persuades us to hold onto it, for a bit longer, even if it isn't right. "Oh but it felt just like fate!" or "it was totally in the stars!" = clouded judgement and stubbornness when it comes to things that don't align with that original belief. Ignoring signs, red flags and inconsistencies because they don't play into our romanticised idea of fate and what it holds...
Instead, I have began to explore the idea of destiny. Many people have conflicting ideas on what destiny is, and how it compares to fate. Allow me to explain what I, personally, (emphasis on that) believe the main difference is.
I see fate as weak and destiny as strong. I see fate as a series of coincidences and changes that feel out of your control, but yet are not strong enough to give you that sense of stability. I see destiny as a power, concrete enough to reassure us that yes, everything will work out in the end. And if it hasn't worked out, it's not the end.
Fate tells us that if we weren't in a specific place, at a specific time, then we wouldn't have done a specific thing. Where as destiny convinces us that we were always going to end up in that specific place, at that specific time, doing that specific thing. Destiny is the end goal, and every moment prior is just leading us to that. It's the idea, that really, we have no control. Any decision we make, was really predetermined. Even if you flipped a coin, it was always going to land the way it did. Even if you feel like you're making a choice, you're not. Life belongs to destiny, where as fate is just a friend.
Think about fate for a second. How often is it really on your side? We convince ourselves more often than not that things are down to fate. For example, how you met your significant other, or how you landed your job. Now think about that again for a second. You're really going to tell me that you would have never ended up with your soulmate if you didn't end up on the night out that you said you wasn't going to go on? Or you would have never secured that dream job if you didn't bump into your future boss on the street?
Well, maybe. But then, it wouldn't have been your destiny. Your destiny knew that you were going to go on that night out, even if you did have second thoughts. It was in the plan. It was going to happen. Do you seen where I'm going with this? You were always going to "accidentally" stumble into that guy who hired you, because it was meant to happen. Destiny knows what we need and gives it to us. Life lessons, the good, the bad, all of it.
I used to be adamant that fate was real because everything just felt so accidental. So bizarre. It is only recently that I've accepted the fact that really, destiny had to work in weird ways to get me to the place that I am today.
Hopefully you're still following this, because I know it's something that takes a lot to get your head around.
So to answer the question at hand, how does destiny encourage us to let go?
"Everything happens for a reason."
I used to think that quote only applied to fate. But really it's just suggesting that everything that happens in your life, is for a reason, and that reason being your ultimate fate - your destiny.
We won't know the outcome of everything that happens until you know, the outcome. Until we're at the end, the end of our lives as we know them, when we can sit back and see how and why everything happened like it did. Scary, but at the same time, peaceful to consider.
All of the shitty things that have happened to me, are just setting me up for my own destiny.
That person you liked who didn't want you? Wasn't in the plan. That job you didn't get? Something better was coming. That house sale falling through? You wasn't meant to live there. All of those things may seem so difficult and incomprehensible at the time, yet, when you begin to welcome the idea of destiny, your thought process can shift entirely.
So that person you liked who didn't want you? Just imagine who's lined up next. Someone absolutely perfect for you. Someone who adores you with every part of themselves. Someone who makes you, adore you. And if they're not the next person? They'll be the next, or the one after that. That job you didn't get? Hell yes to all the other, new opportunities that are out there waiting, where destiny will lead you. That house sale falling through? The ideal one is around the corner.
This makes me excited. Excited to see what destiny has in store for me. Because I now know that simply, it wasn't meant to be. It just wasn't. All I thought I wanted wasn't what was right, and I am on the path that will be better for me. This allows me to let go. And letting go is the best thing you can do. Let go of your preconceived ideas or heavy plans. Let go of what you thought was best, and,
just you wait to see what destiny has store.
TL;DR. Fate and destiny are pretty similar, it just depends on the way you look at it. Just be flexible and allow life to run its course.