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Oh you're changing your heart?

I couldn't help but quote 1234 by Fiest with the title. It is such a bop.

I am sure at least one person reading this has had to deal with the ever fun situation which is as follows. You're talking to a guy or girl, everything is going a - okay, and all of a sudden, they "change their mind". A polite way of saying, they led you on.

How are you meant to deal with such situation? IT SUCKS. You're there, thinking that they are the love of your life, and that is not how they see it at all. You're planning the wedding, thinking of baby names, decorating the nursery, and boom, tis no longer.


Something I realised recently after going through this quite a few times, is that you don't want to be with them anyway. You honestly don't. Effort is a two way street and you don't want to be the one putting it all out there. Even if something does happen between you and your crush, beau, or whatever the kids call that awkward "talking" stage nowadays, you are going to know in your hearts of hearts that you were the one that orchestrated this situation and they are not putting their all into it. Like I said, effort is a two way street and if the other person isn't prepared to give their all, you shouldn't be expected to either.

Thinking back on the great memories I have of being led on, and always being the effort giver - I learnt one thing, however much you want something - you can't make someone else want it too. Could have probably put that more poetically, but I am struggling with the ol' words. As the ever gorgeous Sam Clafflin once put it (he was in character in Love, Rosie, granted) "You deserve someone who loves you with every single beat of his heart, someone who thinks about you constantly, someone who spends every minute of every day just wondering what you're doing, where you are, who you're with, and if you're OK." DON'T SETTLE FOR LESS!

But lets talk about the flip side.

As my mum always says, being the libra that she is, "you only get out what you put in". 

If you're honestly, truly, completely in love with them (sorry, I can't stop quoting Love, Rosie, it is my *all time* favourite film) then yassss girl (or boy) go get it. Show em what you're made of. Show em that you are da one. Maybe they are just not used to love. Maybe they are blind, and can't comprehend why you'd love them. Maybe they just need showing that you are right. It does really depend on the situation.

So now I have realised that me writing this blog post is probably useless because I have just counteracted my own argument, I want to know why us humans are so prone to these situations. How do people find themselves in such fairytale states that it all works out in the end. Unrealistic I tell you.  One day, you'll find the Alex to your Rosie (just watch the film if you haven't already), the Gavin to your Stacey or the Jim to your Pam. (If you understand all of these references, you are 100% meant to be my boyfriend, just saying)

I guess what this post was meant to be was a gentle reminder. (Like all my posts)

A gentle reminder that you will find your person! You will find someone that makes you happy, loves you back (that one is key) and that will put the effort in back. If they don't put the effort in back, maybe a) they aren't the one. or b) they need to be shown how to love. Maybe they just aren't very good at it. Communicate, and let it work itself out. Advice: if you're a stubborn (or fixed) star sign, avoid other stubborn signs. LET. ME. TELL. YOU.

It is navigating that and figuring it out which is the complicated part. Knowing if they are a or b. I'll leave that down to you.

Bye for now,
Tamzin xxx

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